Trust

Trust: truhst (noun) reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

Without trust, any relationship is left on shaky ground, lacking the most basic of foundations. Throw in a penchant for shitty communication and intimacy avoidance, and you have the recipe for disaster. I don't trust T because of the way he holds everything in. It's like he and I are partners in a game of cards, and he only wants to play by himself. What am I supposed to think? What is his 'game of cards' all about? A secret life of using drugs again? A thick blanket of depression hanging over a secret of despair? Whatever it is, I am not in a relationship to play Little Miss Fix It.

We are all on this Earth for a very short time, a gentle breeze, a sigh, and we're gone. On to the next great Lesson. Why sit around, pretending like everything's ok when it's actually hurtling towards BULLSHIT, EXIT 1 MILE??

At what point do I throw my cards on the table and say 'I don't want to play this game anymore' ? The moment he looked at me and said 'I've been fucking up with dope again'. Maybe in the past, would I have stayed around, trying to mold him, to help him, to encourage him. Today is a different story. Our son is my number one priority. His environment will be one of peace and compassion. It will not be one of calamity, dishonesty, paranoia, pessimism and ignorance.

From this point on, my mind is made up. We are done.